Conversation with 3 1/2 year old Fox

{Actual conversation with Fox today, heading home from playing with one of his buddies}

Mommy, why do we have a house?

Well, sweetie, we have a house to live in and sleep in and eat in.

If I was a bear, I could live outside.

Well yes, if you were a bear you could live outside.

I'd be a bear with big sharp teeth and I'd bite people that came near me. Bears are mean.

Oh, not all bears. Winnie the Pooh is a nice bear. You could be a nice bear too.

Oh. OK. Can I play with this? (holding onto carseat strap)

Sure buddy.

GRRRR...I can't pull it! My carseat is too heavy. I can't lift it. When I'm a man I can lift it off the strap.

Yes, that's true, when you're a man you can lift it off the strap. But when you're a man you won't need a carseat.

Oh, you're right. I'll sit there and drive!

Yes, you can drive when you're 16.

Are you 16?

No sweetie, I'm 31.

Oh. Is Daddy 16?

No sweetie, Daddy is 35.

Oh. When I'm 65 I'll be a man and drive.

Grandpa is 65.

COOL! I'll drive like Grandpa.

No sweetie, we don't want you to drive like Grandpa.

Why? (Corrects himself) Yes ma'am, may I ask why?

Because sometimes Grandpa drives too fast.

But I wanna drive fast like Grandpa.

I know sweetie, but sometimes that's not safe.

When I'm a man I wanna drive fast like Grandpa in my Viper.
(Note - my dad does not drive a Viper! He does however, drive fast!)

Well sweetie, when you're a man if you get a Viper then you can drive it fast.

Okay, thanks Mommy!