Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Too long since a post

I'm getting some flak from the hubby about my lack of posts to my blog. Sorry babe.
It's getting nuts at work, and I'm getting worn down again. Good thing the thyroid meds have kicked in, or I'd be totally worthless about now!
I'm not sure I've got what it takes to be a blogger. For some reason, I feel this pressure to produce something cool, something meaningful. Not sure where the pressure is coming from in particular. I've got a problem where I worry to much about living up to everyone else's expectations. Or at least what I think they expect of me. What does it matter in the first place? If I'm loving God and my husband, do I have other expectations to meet?
I'm getting to bogged down in my busyness again. I'm such a Martha, when I need to be a Mary, at His feet, worshipping. The pastor loaned me a book, "How to be a Mary in a Martha World". I started it, but haven't had time to finish it yet. Typical. I've got a bathroom stripped of the awful wallpaper that I haven't had time to finish prepping and painting. I've got magazines piled up, a new crosstitch project I need to get more work in on.
So where do I cut something? I've been trying to figure that out for years.
I have this weird ability to help my friends get their stuff in order, while my stuff piles up on the kitchen counter.
Can I get a break from all my stuff? Not just stuff, but committments, obligations. I might be able to sleep better, communicate better, all that good stuff.
Well, band practice is ending. Time to fulfill another obligation.