And yes, I totally ate A TON of chocolate. Good thing!As always, you can see the rest of these pics here...
Monday, February 19, 2007
Such a happy boy...
Anna told us a story about something she heard at an infant massage therapy workshop. Apparently, there is anecdotal evidence that babies whose mothers ate chocolate have happier babies. Here are some pictures to back up that theory...
And yes, I totally ate A TON of chocolate. Good thing!
As always, you can see the rest of these pics here...
And yes, I totally ate A TON of chocolate. Good thing!As always, you can see the rest of these pics here...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Slacker me...this is going to be a long one.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. So much has been happening, I'll try to recap.
Let's see. Our trip to Arkansas for Bonnie's wedding in December was awesome. All the prayers must have made a huge difference, because we had the world's best traveling baby with us. He was happy and/or sleepy the whole trip, and only fussed when it was time for him to eat.
We visited with Bonnie, Justin, and Bonnie's family the night. They were all so excited to meet Fox! The next day we were up for the complimentary breakfast at 6am-when it started! That would never have happened before we became parents.
It was also our 5th wedding anniversary. We celebrated in style, eating two meals at McDonalds and visiting the Walmart in Bentonville, Arkansas (right across the street from the enormous Home Office!) After that we headed to the Wal-Marts ; ) to buy the necessary ingredients for the Wedding Night Basket 'O Fun I put together for special people when they marry.
The wedding was beautiful. I only cried a little, not like the huge racking sobs I busted out with at Shannon's wedding. It was amazing, getting to be a part of such a special time.
Fox was awesome the whole time. What a blessing!
Christmas was beautiful. We enjoyed seeing both sides of Vance's family in PC, and celebrated with our Canopy Roads family Christmas Eve. The next day we joined the Theobalds for Christmas Dinner and Jesus' birthday cake! Wow, I think that may have been the last time I had chocolate. (We figured out that chocolate upsets Fox's tummy. Yeah, it sucks.)
My folks came up for a few days shortly before the New Year. It's so great having them here with us. Fox got way too much stuff (I know, it's just going to get worse each year) and we all ate too much.
We went to Flager's for New Year's Eve, but left around 10 to try and get the Little Man to sleep.
January was an eventful month of milestones. On the 12th, he let out his first big belly laugh. Ironically, he was strapped in his car seat at Smokey Bones while Vance and I enjoyed lunch with some of Vance's coworkers. The next day we took him over to Julie's house for his first set of pictures. They turned out so great! We, of course, bought one of each one she took! (So did the grandparents). The next day was Sunday. I went into Fox's room to get him up for church. The sight that greeted me was Mr. Fox on his back. He had rolled over and I missed it! Four days later, he slept throught the night (9:30pm to 7:30am with two wakeups) without a feeding.
February has been exciting too. Last week Fox slept all night (no waking) three times. He woke up twice last night, but is on par to make it all night again. This morning I went in to get him up for church (it was his debut for drama-more about that later) and once again, he had flipped himself onto his back. That makes it 4 times that he's done it - AND I HAVE MISSED IT EACH TIME! Little stinker won't do it when he's with me, just when he's waking up. And each time, when I come in for him, he has the biggest, sweetest grin on his face. He seems quite proud of his latest little trick.
So now about the drama. Fox played my son (I know, a stretch) in a powerful piece about a family who is on the verge of splitting up due to the parents not appreciating each other, and losing sight of why they got together in the first place. Fox stole the show when he started cooing and blowing raspberries into my mic. But the point was made. I think a lot of folks were touched today, and it was an honor to be able to help facilitate that.
So what's been going on? Well, Fox still loves standing up, but now he's liking to sit up too. He's able to stay upright for about a minute and a half before leaning over and toppling. He thinks its just great, and then tries to eat his toes as he tips over forward.
We have the happiest baby (most of the time). He's much less fussy, and when he does get fussy, he calms down when we take him outside or hang out in front of the radio. Vance has made him a playlist with lots of funky grooves so we can dance around the house. He has the best laugh. Vance gets him going better than I can. Everyone we see comments on how smiley Fox is.
I've gone back to Irish Dancing. It was easier than I though to just jump back in and pick up where I left off 7 months ago. I really missed my friends from the group, and it's a good break to get out of the house and do something for 'me time'.
I think that about covers everything I can think of. I'd better sign off so Vance and I can catch up on '24'. We're a year behind, but we're going to finish!
Let's see. Our trip to Arkansas for Bonnie's wedding in December was awesome. All the prayers must have made a huge difference, because we had the world's best traveling baby with us. He was happy and/or sleepy the whole trip, and only fussed when it was time for him to eat.
We visited with Bonnie, Justin, and Bonnie's family the night. They were all so excited to meet Fox! The next day we were up for the complimentary breakfast at 6am-when it started! That would never have happened before we became parents.
It was also our 5th wedding anniversary. We celebrated in style, eating two meals at McDonalds and visiting the Walmart in Bentonville, Arkansas (right across the street from the enormous Home Office!) After that we headed to the Wal-Marts ; ) to buy the necessary ingredients for the Wedding Night Basket 'O Fun I put together for special people when they marry.
The wedding was beautiful. I only cried a little, not like the huge racking sobs I busted out with at Shannon's wedding. It was amazing, getting to be a part of such a special time.
Fox was awesome the whole time. What a blessing!
Christmas was beautiful. We enjoyed seeing both sides of Vance's family in PC, and celebrated with our Canopy Roads family Christmas Eve. The next day we joined the Theobalds for Christmas Dinner and Jesus' birthday cake! Wow, I think that may have been the last time I had chocolate. (We figured out that chocolate upsets Fox's tummy. Yeah, it sucks.)
My folks came up for a few days shortly before the New Year. It's so great having them here with us. Fox got way too much stuff (I know, it's just going to get worse each year) and we all ate too much.
We went to Flager's for New Year's Eve, but left around 10 to try and get the Little Man to sleep.
January was an eventful month of milestones. On the 12th, he let out his first big belly laugh. Ironically, he was strapped in his car seat at Smokey Bones while Vance and I enjoyed lunch with some of Vance's coworkers. The next day we took him over to Julie's house for his first set of pictures. They turned out so great! We, of course, bought one of each one she took! (So did the grandparents). The next day was Sunday. I went into Fox's room to get him up for church. The sight that greeted me was Mr. Fox on his back. He had rolled over and I missed it! Four days later, he slept throught the night (9:30pm to 7:30am with two wakeups) without a feeding.
February has been exciting too. Last week Fox slept all night (no waking) three times. He woke up twice last night, but is on par to make it all night again. This morning I went in to get him up for church (it was his debut for drama-more about that later) and once again, he had flipped himself onto his back. That makes it 4 times that he's done it - AND I HAVE MISSED IT EACH TIME! Little stinker won't do it when he's with me, just when he's waking up. And each time, when I come in for him, he has the biggest, sweetest grin on his face. He seems quite proud of his latest little trick.
So now about the drama. Fox played my son (I know, a stretch) in a powerful piece about a family who is on the verge of splitting up due to the parents not appreciating each other, and losing sight of why they got together in the first place. Fox stole the show when he started cooing and blowing raspberries into my mic. But the point was made. I think a lot of folks were touched today, and it was an honor to be able to help facilitate that.
So what's been going on? Well, Fox still loves standing up, but now he's liking to sit up too. He's able to stay upright for about a minute and a half before leaning over and toppling. He thinks its just great, and then tries to eat his toes as he tips over forward.
We have the happiest baby (most of the time). He's much less fussy, and when he does get fussy, he calms down when we take him outside or hang out in front of the radio. Vance has made him a playlist with lots of funky grooves so we can dance around the house. He has the best laugh. Vance gets him going better than I can. Everyone we see comments on how smiley Fox is.
I've gone back to Irish Dancing. It was easier than I though to just jump back in and pick up where I left off 7 months ago. I really missed my friends from the group, and it's a good break to get out of the house and do something for 'me time'.
I think that about covers everything I can think of. I'd better sign off so Vance and I can catch up on '24'. We're a year behind, but we're going to finish!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
New Me...
Just in case you haven't seen me in awhile, I got my hair cut. Alot of it. Enough for Locks of Love. I think it wound up being about a foot (you know, 12 inches?)
So here's what I look like now. No makeup, nursing tank top and the little man.
I promise, a decent, detailed post is forthcoming in the next few days.
So here's what I look like now. No makeup, nursing tank top and the little man.
I promise, a decent, detailed post is forthcoming in the next few days.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
It's that time...
I should be asleep. I've packed all our things for our trip to Arkansas, my hair is washed, dried, and straight, the kitchen is clean, and I'm blogging.
I would go to bed, but I know as soon as I do Fox will want to eat. He and Vance are asleep on the couch, and have been for about 3 hours.
I love my family. My son is so adorable, I sometimes just stare at him, amazed. How can something so precious scream so much? He's only 2 months old, what does he have to be that mad about? He is learning and growing each day. Today, he realized that when Vance rubs his finger on his mouth and he 'talks' to us, we crack up. Kid's already hamming it up. Last weekend he discovered that when he kicks his legs in his bouncy seat, the animals move. This week he started batting at the animals and smiling even bigger.
Vance is about to have his work cut out for him. I'll be pretty busy with wedding stuff this weekend, so SuperDad is on full-time duty.
I can't wait to see Bonnie. It's been since...February? March? I can't remember. Terri hemmed my bridesmaid dress for me, since I waited till the absolute last minute to have it altered. I don't know what we'd do without the Halls.
I'd better try and relax enough to sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us, and we're praying for a cooperative little man. (Or at least understanding folks on our two flights!)
I would go to bed, but I know as soon as I do Fox will want to eat. He and Vance are asleep on the couch, and have been for about 3 hours.
I love my family. My son is so adorable, I sometimes just stare at him, amazed. How can something so precious scream so much? He's only 2 months old, what does he have to be that mad about? He is learning and growing each day. Today, he realized that when Vance rubs his finger on his mouth and he 'talks' to us, we crack up. Kid's already hamming it up. Last weekend he discovered that when he kicks his legs in his bouncy seat, the animals move. This week he started batting at the animals and smiling even bigger.
Vance is about to have his work cut out for him. I'll be pretty busy with wedding stuff this weekend, so SuperDad is on full-time duty.
I can't wait to see Bonnie. It's been since...February? March? I can't remember. Terri hemmed my bridesmaid dress for me, since I waited till the absolute last minute to have it altered. I don't know what we'd do without the Halls.
I'd better try and relax enough to sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us, and we're praying for a cooperative little man. (Or at least understanding folks on our two flights!)
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sleep
Sleep. I've missed it. I'm heading to bed now.
We're trying to get Fox to sleep more regularly. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is the latest (and hopefully last) sleep book. It was really hard, but tonight we put him down and let him rest on his own. Cute little bugger was cooing and talking to himself for about 10 minutes, then realized we weren't coming in to play. This apparently made him mad. So he cried. And he cried. Vance came out of his office after 10 minutes and gave me a pouty lip and a stern look. I didn't like hearing it either! But, 2 minutes later he stopped crying. He looked up at his monitor, and then fell asleep! It's been 20 minutes. I hope this does the trick.
Sandra came over today to give me a break. She said his crying reminded her so much of Ranen. I told her that if that means Fox is going to be that much fun, then I would survive this colic.
She held him while I cleaned the kitchen, and then when he really got going, I held him and she cleaned the kitchen floor. I have the best friends. Thanks a bunch.
Sleep. I've missed it. I'm heading to bed now.
We're trying to get Fox to sleep more regularly. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is the latest (and hopefully last) sleep book. It was really hard, but tonight we put him down and let him rest on his own. Cute little bugger was cooing and talking to himself for about 10 minutes, then realized we weren't coming in to play. This apparently made him mad. So he cried. And he cried. Vance came out of his office after 10 minutes and gave me a pouty lip and a stern look. I didn't like hearing it either! But, 2 minutes later he stopped crying. He looked up at his monitor, and then fell asleep! It's been 20 minutes. I hope this does the trick.
Sandra came over today to give me a break. She said his crying reminded her so much of Ranen. I told her that if that means Fox is going to be that much fun, then I would survive this colic.
She held him while I cleaned the kitchen, and then when he really got going, I held him and she cleaned the kitchen floor. I have the best friends. Thanks a bunch.
Sleep. I've missed it. I'm heading to bed now.
New Picture for my profile?
Blogger didn't like the old URL for this picture, so maybe this one will work better.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Let's see...
...how fast I can post these pics from the hospital 7 weeks ago...
Whew. Fox went back to sleep once I gave him his paci.
This was Dylan's first meeting with his new cousin. Right after he 'kissed' Fox, he bopped him in the head. It was hysterical.
7 weeks ago my water broke.
7 weeks ago I was 27 and huge.
7 weeks ago I could sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.
7 weeks ago I could eat when I wanted.
7 weeks ago I had no idea what being a mom was really going to be like.
7 weeks ago I didn't know I could be peed on, puked on, screamed at, and love him regardless of all that.
Fox is having a fussy period. His acne has cleared up, but I think he's getting cradle cap. Poor kid is so over his car seat. It took us almost 7 hours to get home from Orlando after Thanksgiving. Being at home with my parents was awesome. I was slightly worried that they wouldn't be as nuts about Fox as they were about Dylan ('cause they were really NUTS over Dylan), but I had nothing to worry about. My dad was cracking me up with his insistence that we take pictures of him holding Fox so he could take them to work. My mom told me that he was worried about how much Fox screams, and that we should take him to the doctor and make sure there's nothing wrong with him. Mom had to remind him that I used to scream for 5 hours a night. ; )
Momma, Granny, Shannon and I went out for Black Friday. I got almost all of my Christmas shopping done. Killer deals out there. The fun part was pumping in the car in the parking lot, trying to hide what I was up to. Vance and I dashed out for an hour and left Fox with Momma and Daddy. It was kind of weird. First time we've both been away from him.
He's starting to chunk up a little bit. His face looks rounder, and he's starting to get some rolls on his arms and legs. He's still in the Newborn diapers though. We have tons of size 1 diapers, just waiting for him. I tried one on him Sunday, and it practically came up to his armpits. Hopefully he'll grow into them soon. We keep buying 40 Newborn diapers at a time, hoping each pack will be the last. He looks so much longer now, lying in his crib. It's amazing how calm and peaceful he is when he's not screaming. His cries have changed too. He sounds older somehow.
We're praying for a smooth trip to Bonnie's wedding next month. I'm a bridesmaid. We're taking our two month old baby to Rogers, Arkansas in the middle of December. It could be snowing. Are we nuts? Probably.
I've been watching all these birth shows on Discovery Health. I guess I'm in the minority for not having an epidural.
Well, I'd better go ahead and post this before Fox wakes up again.
Whew. Fox went back to sleep once I gave him his paci.
This was Dylan's first meeting with his new cousin. Right after he 'kissed' Fox, he bopped him in the head. It was hysterical.
7 weeks ago my water broke.
7 weeks ago I was 27 and huge.
7 weeks ago I could sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.
7 weeks ago I could eat when I wanted.
7 weeks ago I had no idea what being a mom was really going to be like.
7 weeks ago I didn't know I could be peed on, puked on, screamed at, and love him regardless of all that.
Fox is having a fussy period. His acne has cleared up, but I think he's getting cradle cap. Poor kid is so over his car seat. It took us almost 7 hours to get home from Orlando after Thanksgiving. Being at home with my parents was awesome. I was slightly worried that they wouldn't be as nuts about Fox as they were about Dylan ('cause they were really NUTS over Dylan), but I had nothing to worry about. My dad was cracking me up with his insistence that we take pictures of him holding Fox so he could take them to work. My mom told me that he was worried about how much Fox screams, and that we should take him to the doctor and make sure there's nothing wrong with him. Mom had to remind him that I used to scream for 5 hours a night. ; )
Momma, Granny, Shannon and I went out for Black Friday. I got almost all of my Christmas shopping done. Killer deals out there. The fun part was pumping in the car in the parking lot, trying to hide what I was up to. Vance and I dashed out for an hour and left Fox with Momma and Daddy. It was kind of weird. First time we've both been away from him.
He's starting to chunk up a little bit. His face looks rounder, and he's starting to get some rolls on his arms and legs. He's still in the Newborn diapers though. We have tons of size 1 diapers, just waiting for him. I tried one on him Sunday, and it practically came up to his armpits. Hopefully he'll grow into them soon. We keep buying 40 Newborn diapers at a time, hoping each pack will be the last. He looks so much longer now, lying in his crib. It's amazing how calm and peaceful he is when he's not screaming. His cries have changed too. He sounds older somehow.
We're praying for a smooth trip to Bonnie's wedding next month. I'm a bridesmaid. We're taking our two month old baby to Rogers, Arkansas in the middle of December. It could be snowing. Are we nuts? Probably.
I've been watching all these birth shows on Discovery Health. I guess I'm in the minority for not having an epidural.
Well, I'd better go ahead and post this before Fox wakes up again.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Smiley Baby
I know, I don't post enough pictures. So here are a few of my smiley fella. We're totally expecting him to bust out a giggle any day. He is so sweet in the mornings after his first feeding.
Vance is such a great daddy. Fox just loves him. I always knew that Vance was good with kids, but seeing him as a daddy has made me love him even more.
Friday, November 10, 2006
1 month...wow!
What a month its been. Our son is a month old, and so amazing. He's smiling at us, and tracking things in front of him, and turning when he hears a toy on one side. Vance has posted more pictures here at his Picasa site. He also posted a review of our voting experience on his blog here. I just love his Photoshopping ability.
Our lives are settling into somewhat of a routine. Mondays we walk around the street and then go to Monday Night wherever it is. Tuesdays and Thursdays we walk again. Wednesdays we go to the Breastfeeding Support Group at Best Beginnings and then Vance meets us at Subway for lunch. Fridays I walk with Kelly and Gina with our 5 boys. I try to get out of the house at least once a day so I don't go crazy.
I hate to put it into print, but we may have a colicky baby. Apparently I used to scream from 5pm-10pm as a baby, so his fussiness isn't as bad as it could be. I guess we didn't petition quite hard enough for him to have Vance's temperment.
Fox and I are heading to a Family Reunion in Charleston, SC next weekend. Vance is stuck here, he and Jeremy have a big project to do at work and will be working through the weekend. So Fox and I will meet my parents in Jax, one of them will hop in with me (I'll probably let them drive so I can sleep) and then we head to Charleston. Shannon, Jay and Dylan will meet us up there. My dad is so excited about having his two grandsons at the same time. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again. All of my cousins will be there. It's weird now, we're all parents.
So, this stay at home mom thing can be pretty isolating. I spend a lot of time at my house with Fox. (well, duh.) I haven't been able to keep the house clean or really cook a meal for Vance and I yet. Whenever I try to be 'a good housewife' I wind up totally exhausted with a grumpy baby. Sometimes it's hard to get out of the house, but I know I need to. I miss the interaction and open air. It's just a gamble on keeping Fox happy. I never know if he's going to have more gas problems after a feeding session. Vance and I joke that we have a bipolar baby. I'm sure most parents wonder the same thing.
Well, I'd better get some sleep. Last night Fox slept 5 1/2 hours before waking up for his next feeding. Let's hope for another night like that! I'll clean up in the morning. I should have plenty of time. Vance's parents are coming to visit in the afternoon after Vance's dad plays golf. It will be his first time seeing Fox, and Vance's mom's first time back after she was here for his birth. My mom is so jealous that they only live 2 hours away.
My mom has started reading our blogs. I'm glad...I know there are things I forget to mention that I post, so now she'll see them.
Okay, it's really time for bed. Hopefully I'll be there awhile!
Our lives are settling into somewhat of a routine. Mondays we walk around the street and then go to Monday Night wherever it is. Tuesdays and Thursdays we walk again. Wednesdays we go to the Breastfeeding Support Group at Best Beginnings and then Vance meets us at Subway for lunch. Fridays I walk with Kelly and Gina with our 5 boys. I try to get out of the house at least once a day so I don't go crazy.
I hate to put it into print, but we may have a colicky baby. Apparently I used to scream from 5pm-10pm as a baby, so his fussiness isn't as bad as it could be. I guess we didn't petition quite hard enough for him to have Vance's temperment.
Fox and I are heading to a Family Reunion in Charleston, SC next weekend. Vance is stuck here, he and Jeremy have a big project to do at work and will be working through the weekend. So Fox and I will meet my parents in Jax, one of them will hop in with me (I'll probably let them drive so I can sleep) and then we head to Charleston. Shannon, Jay and Dylan will meet us up there. My dad is so excited about having his two grandsons at the same time. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again. All of my cousins will be there. It's weird now, we're all parents.
So, this stay at home mom thing can be pretty isolating. I spend a lot of time at my house with Fox. (well, duh.) I haven't been able to keep the house clean or really cook a meal for Vance and I yet. Whenever I try to be 'a good housewife' I wind up totally exhausted with a grumpy baby. Sometimes it's hard to get out of the house, but I know I need to. I miss the interaction and open air. It's just a gamble on keeping Fox happy. I never know if he's going to have more gas problems after a feeding session. Vance and I joke that we have a bipolar baby. I'm sure most parents wonder the same thing.
Well, I'd better get some sleep. Last night Fox slept 5 1/2 hours before waking up for his next feeding. Let's hope for another night like that! I'll clean up in the morning. I should have plenty of time. Vance's parents are coming to visit in the afternoon after Vance's dad plays golf. It will be his first time seeing Fox, and Vance's mom's first time back after she was here for his birth. My mom is so jealous that they only live 2 hours away.
My mom has started reading our blogs. I'm glad...I know there are things I forget to mention that I post, so now she'll see them.
Okay, it's really time for bed. Hopefully I'll be there awhile!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Just a few quick pics...
I am totally not biased about my cute kid...I went for my first decent walk today. Just about a mile, I walked over to the Conrad's house and back. Got caught in a light shower shortly before the end. It was refreshing. And yes, I closed up Fox's stroller so he didn't get wet.
Well, back to Thank-You Note duty...we have so much to be thankful for.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Welcome to the world, Fox.
I see that my last post was last Sunday, the 8th. To put it mildly, a lot has happened since then!
Here's one of Fox's first pictures:
Vance's mom took this in the delivery room after he was cleaned up.
Here are a bunch of other ones she took the first few days: Fox's Album
We've been home since Friday afternoon. My mom just left this afternoon, and Vance will be home for the next five days. After that, his mom has offered to come and stay with me. I'm not sure if I'll take her up on it right away. I may see how it goes for a few days and then have her come for a bit.
So, since Sunday. I went in to work on Monday to 'wrap things up'. 6 hours later, I dragged myself away. I finished my leave plan, my boss agreed, I'd work 10 hours a week from home until Fox was born. Sounded like a wonderful plan.
(this post has been interrupted by my son peeing all over his daddy and the changing table...back in a moment)
Okay, we're back. Tuesday, I wake up, go to my OB checkup and hear that I'm still at about the same place I was on Friday. They still aren't happy with my blood pressure, so they send me to Triage for an NST. It turns out fine, so they turn me loose. I head up to work to deliver the thank-you notes I finished and pick up the laptop I'll be using from home.
I get home and sit at Vance's computer to catch up on email and then I'm heading to the couch for a nap. I'm perusing Julie's Smugmug gallery of all of our friend's adorable children that she photographs. Apparently Fox liked the pictures so much, he wanted to meet his friends early.
I felt a funny feeling downstairs, and wondered if that was my first 'real' contraction. As I pondered this, I heard a "pop" and all of the sudden it was rather wet all around. I was kind of in shock, because a woman's water only breaks like that on TV or in the movies, and it never happened to anyone I knew! After I got the situation slightly more under control, I called Vance to come home right away. I called my doctor, and they wanted me in to Triage immediately. Tip for anyone who's water breaks and you're full-term - unless you're having serious contractions - stay home as long as you can.
So I called my family, Vance's mom, and a few other folks to let them know Fox was on his way. I made sure to call Sandra to cancel dinner-the girls were planning on going to Bella Bella to celebrate my birthday (which was Wednesday).
My neighbor Katlynn came over and emptied the car of the stuff I was going to return to Target and loaded it up with my birthing ball, and our pillows from Childbirth Class.
Vance FINALLY got home and we finished the last minute packing and headed to TMH. We stopped at Wendy's since it was almost dinner and I figured a grilled chicken sammy would do me good. And a Frosty, of course!
We check in, and sit. And sit and sit and sit. My pastor and his wife come, expecting us to be in a l/d room by now. No, not us. We rushed to the hospital to sit and wait an hour and a half to be admitted to Triage. The only positive I can say is that the two fun nurses from my NST that morning were still on duty. We finally got back to a l/d room around 7:30 or so.
I was having contractions, but they weren't doing a whole lot to progress my labor. My dad arrived, Vance's mom arrived, and things still weren't moving along. They checked me out, and gave me a warning that if things didn't get moving, they might have to make them get moving. Apparently I work well when being threatened with Pitocin.
I got in the tub, and my contractions intensified. Man, I would have stayed there all night if they had let me! Then my mom and my sister arrived with Dylan. That kid got so big! He is seriously a cute kid. We visited for a bit with me modestly draped in the tub. They left to get Dylan and my dad settled in the house, and Sandra came by with some beautiful flowers and encouragement.
They made me get out of the tub to put me on the monitors and see how things were going. Basically, they still weren't. So they had to put internal monitors on to keep a closer eye on Fox.
This upset me a lot, since I wasn't allowed back in the tub with those monitors. So I hung out on the birthing ball most of the time as my contractions intensified more. I had to kick my mom and Vance's mom out. It was too much, and my mom doesn't do well with me in pain. So it was Vance and my sister Shannon for the long haul. A word about that-we could not have done it without my sister. She was able to spell Vance when he needed a break, and the two of them tag-teamed keeping me hydrated and my forehead cooled when I needed it. Vance was still recovering from his sinus infection, and it was so awesome that my sister could be there to make sure he was okay too. They had to start an IV antibiotic drip since it had been 12 hours ago that my water had broken.
So things got pretty intense. I was basically communicating in one-syllable commands/requests and was getting extremely tired. Thoughts of C-sections flitted across my brain, and I wanted to be checked for progress. I had reached 5 cm, but that's only halfway. I decided I needed something to take the edge off, since my contractions were serious now. They gave me a hit of Stadol. Apparently it only lasts 30 minutes. Good thing they didn't tell me that, I lasted 2 hours before I wanted another one. That was just enough to allow me to rest between contractions. I'll spare the gory details after that, mostly because I don't remember all of them. I know that it's a big deal when you have to be reminded to breathe. Thanks, Vance. ; )
Essentially, the next time the checked me, Fox was crowning. Everything got really busy around me, but I just tried to focus on breathing. Pushing was seriously the hardest thing ever. Let's leave it at that.
Fox arrived at 6:47 am on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006. My birthday. Best present ever!
Here's one of Fox's first pictures:
Vance's mom took this in the delivery room after he was cleaned up.
Here are a bunch of other ones she took the first few days: Fox's Album
We've been home since Friday afternoon. My mom just left this afternoon, and Vance will be home for the next five days. After that, his mom has offered to come and stay with me. I'm not sure if I'll take her up on it right away. I may see how it goes for a few days and then have her come for a bit.
So, since Sunday. I went in to work on Monday to 'wrap things up'. 6 hours later, I dragged myself away. I finished my leave plan, my boss agreed, I'd work 10 hours a week from home until Fox was born. Sounded like a wonderful plan.
(this post has been interrupted by my son peeing all over his daddy and the changing table...back in a moment)
Okay, we're back. Tuesday, I wake up, go to my OB checkup and hear that I'm still at about the same place I was on Friday. They still aren't happy with my blood pressure, so they send me to Triage for an NST. It turns out fine, so they turn me loose. I head up to work to deliver the thank-you notes I finished and pick up the laptop I'll be using from home.
I get home and sit at Vance's computer to catch up on email and then I'm heading to the couch for a nap. I'm perusing Julie's Smugmug gallery of all of our friend's adorable children that she photographs. Apparently Fox liked the pictures so much, he wanted to meet his friends early.
I felt a funny feeling downstairs, and wondered if that was my first 'real' contraction. As I pondered this, I heard a "pop" and all of the sudden it was rather wet all around. I was kind of in shock, because a woman's water only breaks like that on TV or in the movies, and it never happened to anyone I knew! After I got the situation slightly more under control, I called Vance to come home right away. I called my doctor, and they wanted me in to Triage immediately. Tip for anyone who's water breaks and you're full-term - unless you're having serious contractions - stay home as long as you can.
So I called my family, Vance's mom, and a few other folks to let them know Fox was on his way. I made sure to call Sandra to cancel dinner-the girls were planning on going to Bella Bella to celebrate my birthday (which was Wednesday).
My neighbor Katlynn came over and emptied the car of the stuff I was going to return to Target and loaded it up with my birthing ball, and our pillows from Childbirth Class.
Vance FINALLY got home and we finished the last minute packing and headed to TMH. We stopped at Wendy's since it was almost dinner and I figured a grilled chicken sammy would do me good. And a Frosty, of course!
We check in, and sit. And sit and sit and sit. My pastor and his wife come, expecting us to be in a l/d room by now. No, not us. We rushed to the hospital to sit and wait an hour and a half to be admitted to Triage. The only positive I can say is that the two fun nurses from my NST that morning were still on duty. We finally got back to a l/d room around 7:30 or so.
I was having contractions, but they weren't doing a whole lot to progress my labor. My dad arrived, Vance's mom arrived, and things still weren't moving along. They checked me out, and gave me a warning that if things didn't get moving, they might have to make them get moving. Apparently I work well when being threatened with Pitocin.
I got in the tub, and my contractions intensified. Man, I would have stayed there all night if they had let me! Then my mom and my sister arrived with Dylan. That kid got so big! He is seriously a cute kid. We visited for a bit with me modestly draped in the tub. They left to get Dylan and my dad settled in the house, and Sandra came by with some beautiful flowers and encouragement.
They made me get out of the tub to put me on the monitors and see how things were going. Basically, they still weren't. So they had to put internal monitors on to keep a closer eye on Fox.
This upset me a lot, since I wasn't allowed back in the tub with those monitors. So I hung out on the birthing ball most of the time as my contractions intensified more. I had to kick my mom and Vance's mom out. It was too much, and my mom doesn't do well with me in pain. So it was Vance and my sister Shannon for the long haul. A word about that-we could not have done it without my sister. She was able to spell Vance when he needed a break, and the two of them tag-teamed keeping me hydrated and my forehead cooled when I needed it. Vance was still recovering from his sinus infection, and it was so awesome that my sister could be there to make sure he was okay too. They had to start an IV antibiotic drip since it had been 12 hours ago that my water had broken.
So things got pretty intense. I was basically communicating in one-syllable commands/requests and was getting extremely tired. Thoughts of C-sections flitted across my brain, and I wanted to be checked for progress. I had reached 5 cm, but that's only halfway. I decided I needed something to take the edge off, since my contractions were serious now. They gave me a hit of Stadol. Apparently it only lasts 30 minutes. Good thing they didn't tell me that, I lasted 2 hours before I wanted another one. That was just enough to allow me to rest between contractions. I'll spare the gory details after that, mostly because I don't remember all of them. I know that it's a big deal when you have to be reminded to breathe. Thanks, Vance. ; )
Essentially, the next time the checked me, Fox was crowning. Everything got really busy around me, but I just tried to focus on breathing. Pushing was seriously the hardest thing ever. Let's leave it at that.
Fox arrived at 6:47 am on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006. My birthday. Best present ever!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
So Blessed...
I've made it through 2 1/2 days of 'bed rest'. Well, 'couch rest' for me. I can't just stay in bed, I'll sleep all day and then be up all night. Vance has been to Urgent Care and been diagnosed with a nasty sinus infection. You know the man is sick when he misses church and is staying home from work tomorrow (Sorry Jeremy...).
I haven't been as good as I should be...with Vance sick, and these nesting urges, it is so hard not to do a load of laundry here and there. I get back to the couch in between loads, I promise! But I'm totally letting him clean the dishes from dinner, and I'm going to pay one of the youth that cleans houses to do my floors later this week. The kitchen and our bathroom floors are driving me crazy, but I am not about to get down and scrub them.
So, I'm catching up on thank you notes from previous showers, I'm making lists like crazy, and watching way to much Food Network. I love me some Rachael Ray!
About the blessings...
Canopy Roads threw us a shower this afternoon. Yes, I got permission from my midwife to go.
It was so amazing to see how many people came and blessed us. There were at least 40 people there! It was fun to hang out with the ladies of our church, but it will be nice when Fox is here and he can be the center of attention for a change! As I looked around the Fellowship Hall, I was blown away by the generosity and love shared by the ladies from all different ages and stages in life. I love our church.
Then Allyson (the Pastor's daughter and wonderful friend) came back the house with me to help me unload and hang out. We got all the loot into Fox's room, and unpacked and sorted out what needed to be washed, returned, or put away. Then she asked if I'd like to have my toenails painted. But of course! I certainly can't reach them at this point. So we went across the street and borrowed a cute color from Katlynn, and headed to the couch. We went to the couch so that I could at least claim that I was behaving myself. She was just finishing the first coat when the bottle accidentally dropped. On the carpet. And splashed on the couch. Yes, the new couch.
I didn't freak out, I just grabbed the laptop and Googled "Stain Removal Nail Polish Carpet". There were tons of results, and most of them were pretty similar. So, the nail polish is mostly out of the carpet, it's mostly off of the couch, and now we can all relax on the couch a little more since the first stain is taken care of. ; )
I'd better go...more thank you notes to write, and I need to get to bed at a decent hour. I'll be going in for my likely last day at the office tomorrow. Let's hear it for Bed Rest!
I haven't been as good as I should be...with Vance sick, and these nesting urges, it is so hard not to do a load of laundry here and there. I get back to the couch in between loads, I promise! But I'm totally letting him clean the dishes from dinner, and I'm going to pay one of the youth that cleans houses to do my floors later this week. The kitchen and our bathroom floors are driving me crazy, but I am not about to get down and scrub them.
So, I'm catching up on thank you notes from previous showers, I'm making lists like crazy, and watching way to much Food Network. I love me some Rachael Ray!
About the blessings...
Canopy Roads threw us a shower this afternoon. Yes, I got permission from my midwife to go.
It was so amazing to see how many people came and blessed us. There were at least 40 people there! It was fun to hang out with the ladies of our church, but it will be nice when Fox is here and he can be the center of attention for a change! As I looked around the Fellowship Hall, I was blown away by the generosity and love shared by the ladies from all different ages and stages in life. I love our church.
Then Allyson (the Pastor's daughter and wonderful friend) came back the house with me to help me unload and hang out. We got all the loot into Fox's room, and unpacked and sorted out what needed to be washed, returned, or put away. Then she asked if I'd like to have my toenails painted. But of course! I certainly can't reach them at this point. So we went across the street and borrowed a cute color from Katlynn, and headed to the couch. We went to the couch so that I could at least claim that I was behaving myself. She was just finishing the first coat when the bottle accidentally dropped. On the carpet. And splashed on the couch. Yes, the new couch.
I didn't freak out, I just grabbed the laptop and Googled "Stain Removal Nail Polish Carpet". There were tons of results, and most of them were pretty similar. So, the nail polish is mostly out of the carpet, it's mostly off of the couch, and now we can all relax on the couch a little more since the first stain is taken care of. ; )
I'd better go...more thank you notes to write, and I need to get to bed at a decent hour. I'll be going in for my likely last day at the office tomorrow. Let's hear it for Bed Rest!
Friday, October 06, 2006
Bed Rest...well, maybe just the couch...
Soooo....
I've been swelling a lot this week and my blood pressure has been high. Went in for a checkup this morning and I've been told to get to the couch, at least for the weekend.
Fox is doing well, his heart rate is great, he's in the right position to come on out, and things are moving along well in that department.
I'm hanging out on the couch, I have permission to come to my shower and church on Sunday, and I'm going into work for a bit on Monday to wrap things up.
My next checkup is Tuesday morning. They'll have my lab results then, and we'll see if I can go back to work part time or not.
Please be praying that my blood pressure regulates, that my body makes more progress toward birth, and that I can relax and rest, knowing that God's in charge of all this, and not me!
Thanks for your prayers and support as we prepare to welcome Fox Carson Rutherford sometime soon!
I've been swelling a lot this week and my blood pressure has been high. Went in for a checkup this morning and I've been told to get to the couch, at least for the weekend.
Fox is doing well, his heart rate is great, he's in the right position to come on out, and things are moving along well in that department.
I'm hanging out on the couch, I have permission to come to my shower and church on Sunday, and I'm going into work for a bit on Monday to wrap things up.
My next checkup is Tuesday morning. They'll have my lab results then, and we'll see if I can go back to work part time or not.
Please be praying that my blood pressure regulates, that my body makes more progress toward birth, and that I can relax and rest, knowing that God's in charge of all this, and not me!
Thanks for your prayers and support as we prepare to welcome Fox Carson Rutherford sometime soon!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Running Late...or right on time?
Lots of stuff has happened lately. I'll try to catch up later, but I have to share a cool story about dinner tonight. We had Matt and Terri Hall (our Pastor and his wife, one of my best friends) over to eat with us. We've been very close to them since they did our pre-marital counseling 5 years ago, and haven't managed to have them over dinner before tonight. I had a nice roast thawed, and it was getting to the point of no return - you know, eat it in the next two days or you've wasted your money?
So, I talked to Terri last night about how best to cook it, how long, etc. Then I invited them over to come eat it! We agreed to eat around 6:30 or so, Matt could come right from work, etc, etc.
Well, Matt got a call from someone whose relative (a young woman) was visiting from out of town this week. The woman had gotten word that her alcoholic uncle (who lives in Tallahassee) was hospitalized, very ill, and not given much time to live. The woman called Matt to see if he would visit her uncle in the hospital, since she had been praying for him for a long time. Matt went to the hospital, planning a short "hello, how are you, sorry you're sick" kind of visit.
God had other plans. The uncle had been discharged from the hospital and released to a rehab center. Matt didn't know where the place was located, and he knew that he and Terri were supposed to be at our house for dinner at 6:30. Matt hates being late. But, as he drove toward his house to get Terri, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was supposed to see this man today. So he called Terri to find directions to the place, turns out he was right near it, and told her to call me and apologize, but he had a visit he had to make.
Meanwhile at the Casa de Zorro, I've had this roast in the oven for an hour and a half, and it's still reading 100 degrees in the middle. I was trying to get everything cooked and ready for 6:30 dinner.
God had other plans. The roast was taking forever, I didn't have room in my oven for the roast and the cake I just had to make (darn nesting instinct) and I had to take the cake across the street to bake at the neighbors house.
Vance calls. He's running late, some sort of last-minute emergency at the office and he doesn't even leave until after 6:15. On the way home, the Hulk starts ticking in the engine. Never a good thing. So when he finally gets home at 6:40, he's surprised that Matt and Terri aren't there yet, but relieved that he has the opportunity to diagnose the ticking issue before they arrive.
Matt and Terri pull in, Matt helps Vance with the truck, Terri helps me get the roast out and the darn thing is still not done.
Eventually, Vance and Matt come in from the garage, we get tea for everyone, the roast finishes and we sit down to eat, right around 7:15.
At this point, Matt tells us about the visit with the dying man that caused him to be late.
That man is now going to heaven when he dies, because Matt listened when God told him not to worry about being late to Vance and Michelle's house for dinner.
If Matt, Terri, and Vance had all arrived at the house at 6:30 for dinner, I would have been so upset that everything wasn't ready. Vance wouldn't have had time to figure out what was wrong with the Hulk. More importantly, Matt would have missed the opportunity to share Christ with a dying man. That man told his niece on Saturday that he had done too many bad things to go to heaven. I'm so thankful that nothing worked out on my timetable tonight.
Dinner was awesome, probably one of the best I've cooked in years. Just ran a little late...or did it?
So, I talked to Terri last night about how best to cook it, how long, etc. Then I invited them over to come eat it! We agreed to eat around 6:30 or so, Matt could come right from work, etc, etc.
Well, Matt got a call from someone whose relative (a young woman) was visiting from out of town this week. The woman had gotten word that her alcoholic uncle (who lives in Tallahassee) was hospitalized, very ill, and not given much time to live. The woman called Matt to see if he would visit her uncle in the hospital, since she had been praying for him for a long time. Matt went to the hospital, planning a short "hello, how are you, sorry you're sick" kind of visit.
God had other plans. The uncle had been discharged from the hospital and released to a rehab center. Matt didn't know where the place was located, and he knew that he and Terri were supposed to be at our house for dinner at 6:30. Matt hates being late. But, as he drove toward his house to get Terri, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was supposed to see this man today. So he called Terri to find directions to the place, turns out he was right near it, and told her to call me and apologize, but he had a visit he had to make.
Meanwhile at the Casa de Zorro, I've had this roast in the oven for an hour and a half, and it's still reading 100 degrees in the middle. I was trying to get everything cooked and ready for 6:30 dinner.
God had other plans. The roast was taking forever, I didn't have room in my oven for the roast and the cake I just had to make (darn nesting instinct) and I had to take the cake across the street to bake at the neighbors house.
Vance calls. He's running late, some sort of last-minute emergency at the office and he doesn't even leave until after 6:15. On the way home, the Hulk starts ticking in the engine. Never a good thing. So when he finally gets home at 6:40, he's surprised that Matt and Terri aren't there yet, but relieved that he has the opportunity to diagnose the ticking issue before they arrive.
Matt and Terri pull in, Matt helps Vance with the truck, Terri helps me get the roast out and the darn thing is still not done.
Eventually, Vance and Matt come in from the garage, we get tea for everyone, the roast finishes and we sit down to eat, right around 7:15.
At this point, Matt tells us about the visit with the dying man that caused him to be late.
That man is now going to heaven when he dies, because Matt listened when God told him not to worry about being late to Vance and Michelle's house for dinner.
If Matt, Terri, and Vance had all arrived at the house at 6:30 for dinner, I would have been so upset that everything wasn't ready. Vance wouldn't have had time to figure out what was wrong with the Hulk. More importantly, Matt would have missed the opportunity to share Christ with a dying man. That man told his niece on Saturday that he had done too many bad things to go to heaven. I'm so thankful that nothing worked out on my timetable tonight.
Dinner was awesome, probably one of the best I've cooked in years. Just ran a little late...or did it?
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor Day! (No Kidding!)
Whew. Vance and I have worked our tails off today. (Yes, I'm taking plenty of breaks and drinking enough water.)
Details on all that's been accomplished to follow. First, pictures! (if blogger cooperates...)
Here's Momma (Granny to him) and the Dylan monkey at Shannon's house after my shower last weekend.
I got to feed him...good thing I can practice on him before Fox is born!
Shannon's friend Teri takes care of her twin grandsons...they came over to hang out after the shower. These guys are so cute!
Here's my Granny playing with her 10th great-grandchild. Granny and Aunt Joyce drove down from Charleston Saturday the 26th for my shower. It was so special to celebrate with them!
Ok, I am totally not kidding when I brag about how cute and funny this kid is. I sure hope his fun disposition runs in the family! Vance and I were cracking up with him at bathtime.
This is Vance's Aunt Angie and her first grandson, Mario. Vance's cousin, Tonya, hooked us up this weekend with a ton of clothes from Mario. He was born last October, so Fox will be quite well-dressed for the seasons! This is the little guy that Vance's mom was talking about with the great eyes...Fox comes from good blue-eyed stock, huh?
This is Vance's cousin Tonya and her husband Jeff. We are so blessed with awesome family that shared cute baby boy clothes!
Here is Tonya's brother Corey and his wife Katie, holding their sleeping little girl McKinley. She is the sweetest little girl!
So, about what got done today...
I've now washed all of the clothes and stuff that has been given to us. We have effectively determined that our unborn child has more clothes than Vance. Keep in mind, we've only had one shower, and have three others scheduled.
I put away all of the goodies from last weekend's shower into Fox's room.
Vance re-arranged Fox's closet to accomodate the 3 large Rubbermaid tubs of clothes that don't fit me for the time being.
He lowered the mattress on Fox's crib so Dylan can sleep in it when he comes this weekend (and when Fox is born).
I folded and sorted all of the clothes for Fox and put away the bigger stuff for later.
I folded and tried to organize the myriad blankets, burp cloths and bibs into some semblance of order.
Washed our sheets and towels and re-made the bed.
Vance cut the grass in the front and back (good thing, based on what happened next...)
So we got all of that accomplished, got cleaned up and ready to head out for a date at the Melting Pot.
Vance thought this would be a great time to fall down the stairs in the garage.
His right ankle instantly swelled up to the size of a softball. I had to run (yeah right) next door and have the neighbor help me get him in the car. We headed to Urgent Care.
They were really quick, and the nurse kept us entertained. After a few x-rays, the doctor came in and declared that it was "a big honkin' sprain". The nurse wrapped it up, put a brace on it, gave him some motrin and sent us on our way.
We headed to the Walworth's to mooch off of their ESPN and catch the game.
So, Vance is learning how to us my crutches from last year's ankle fiasco and we've had quite a role reversal. I'm glad I have the opportunity to take care of him after he's spent the past 8 months taking care of me. He's trying to sleep now, so I should shut the laptop down and join him. I'm still pretty wound up from all the action, but I know I need to rest and get ready for tomorrow and the rest of the week as we carpool!
Details on all that's been accomplished to follow. First, pictures! (if blogger cooperates...)
Here's Momma (Granny to him) and the Dylan monkey at Shannon's house after my shower last weekend.
I got to feed him...good thing I can practice on him before Fox is born!
Shannon's friend Teri takes care of her twin grandsons...they came over to hang out after the shower. These guys are so cute!
Here's my Granny playing with her 10th great-grandchild. Granny and Aunt Joyce drove down from Charleston Saturday the 26th for my shower. It was so special to celebrate with them!
Ok, I am totally not kidding when I brag about how cute and funny this kid is. I sure hope his fun disposition runs in the family! Vance and I were cracking up with him at bathtime.
This is Vance's Aunt Angie and her first grandson, Mario. Vance's cousin, Tonya, hooked us up this weekend with a ton of clothes from Mario. He was born last October, so Fox will be quite well-dressed for the seasons! This is the little guy that Vance's mom was talking about with the great eyes...Fox comes from good blue-eyed stock, huh?
This is Vance's cousin Tonya and her husband Jeff. We are so blessed with awesome family that shared cute baby boy clothes!
Here is Tonya's brother Corey and his wife Katie, holding their sleeping little girl McKinley. She is the sweetest little girl!So, about what got done today...
I've now washed all of the clothes and stuff that has been given to us. We have effectively determined that our unborn child has more clothes than Vance. Keep in mind, we've only had one shower, and have three others scheduled.
I put away all of the goodies from last weekend's shower into Fox's room.
Vance re-arranged Fox's closet to accomodate the 3 large Rubbermaid tubs of clothes that don't fit me for the time being.
He lowered the mattress on Fox's crib so Dylan can sleep in it when he comes this weekend (and when Fox is born).
I folded and sorted all of the clothes for Fox and put away the bigger stuff for later.
I folded and tried to organize the myriad blankets, burp cloths and bibs into some semblance of order.
Washed our sheets and towels and re-made the bed.
Vance cut the grass in the front and back (good thing, based on what happened next...)
So we got all of that accomplished, got cleaned up and ready to head out for a date at the Melting Pot.
Vance thought this would be a great time to fall down the stairs in the garage.
His right ankle instantly swelled up to the size of a softball. I had to run (yeah right) next door and have the neighbor help me get him in the car. We headed to Urgent Care.
They were really quick, and the nurse kept us entertained. After a few x-rays, the doctor came in and declared that it was "a big honkin' sprain". The nurse wrapped it up, put a brace on it, gave him some motrin and sent us on our way.
We headed to the Walworth's to mooch off of their ESPN and catch the game.
So, Vance is learning how to us my crutches from last year's ankle fiasco and we've had quite a role reversal. I'm glad I have the opportunity to take care of him after he's spent the past 8 months taking care of me. He's trying to sleep now, so I should shut the laptop down and join him. I'm still pretty wound up from all the action, but I know I need to rest and get ready for tomorrow and the rest of the week as we carpool!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Pictures!
I've got pictures to post...so here they are!
Here's the Dylan monkey with my dad...he's such an awesome Grandpa!
He has the most amazing eyes...
He really likes the new blocks I bought for him...apparently they taste great!
We put Fox's crib together Friday night...man, it is weird having a crib in the house. The X-tra parts are for converting the crib to a toddler bed and then a full size one day.
The Conrads dropped in earlier tonight. They tested Fox's crib for it's jumpworthiness...(I made that word up...) based on the amount of fun they had, I think it will work out nicely for the little man.
Conrad boys...chillin' in the crib...
That's all for now...time to practice our Hypnobirthing exercises!
Here's the Dylan monkey with my dad...he's such an awesome Grandpa!
He has the most amazing eyes...
He really likes the new blocks I bought for him...apparently they taste great!
We put Fox's crib together Friday night...man, it is weird having a crib in the house. The X-tra parts are for converting the crib to a toddler bed and then a full size one day.
The Conrads dropped in earlier tonight. They tested Fox's crib for it's jumpworthiness...(I made that word up...) based on the amount of fun they had, I think it will work out nicely for the little man.
Conrad boys...chillin' in the crib...That's all for now...time to practice our Hypnobirthing exercises!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Hey Hey, We're the Monkees
I spent last weekend in Orlando, to visit my family and attend the wedding of a childhood friend.
The last of our group of Monkees, Jesse, got married. We grew up in a wonderful, close neighborhood, and there was a family with three boys that lived across the street from us. It was great, Shannon and I got to kind of know what it was like to have brothers, and the guys kind of got to know what it was like to have sisters. Here's a picture of the 5 Monkees (not 4 like the TV show) all growed up:
The last of our group of Monkees, Jesse, got married. We grew up in a wonderful, close neighborhood, and there was a family with three boys that lived across the street from us. It was great, Shannon and I got to kind of know what it was like to have brothers, and the guys kind of got to know what it was like to have sisters. Here's a picture of the 5 Monkees (not 4 like the TV show) all growed up:
Left to Right: Nate Kline, Me, Jess Kline, Shannon, and Aaron Kline.
It's so funny to think that we are all married now, Aaron and Shannon and I (almost) are parents, and we still can hang out just like we used to.
Okay, so the Monkees reference. (I'm planning on linking to a wikipedia article, but I can't get wikipedia to load...)
When we were little (elementary age) the Monkees came on Nickelodeon every day after school. The boys would come over and we would watch the show together. Eventually, we decided that we wanted to be the Monkees. Never mind the fact that the Monkees were a band of 4 guys, the 5 of us we determined. We sang along in the garage ('cuz that's where all bands practice) to our LPs and later, cassettes, and pretended to play the instruments we built out of cardboard boxes. Aaron was Davy Jones, I was the invented twin sister of Aaron/Davy, Nate was Mike "Wool Hat" Nesmith, Shannon was a girl Peter Tork, and Jess was Mickey Dolenz.
We played a lot of different things in our garage. Mom always kept the freezer stocked with popsicles, and we played marathons of Monopoly and Clue. We built forts with all the boxes Mom's work stuff was delivered in, and worked on the tree fort in the big tree behind the boys' house. As we got older, we moved indoors when our NES came home, and worked collaboratively to beat Super Mario 3 one summer.
Anyway, I'll add more photos as soon as Blogger cooperates with me. My sister emailed me pictures from the wedding and more of the cutest Jr. Monkee, my nephew Dylan.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
"I Get By With A Little Help..."
Vance and I are so blessed with such wonderful friends. Barb Theobald and her teenaged daughter Jordan came over tonight to help me out.
I've been feeling a little (hah!) overwhelmed this week. When I went out of town last weekend, I left the kitchen a disaster, and stuff all over Fox's room. Guess what? When I came back, it was all exactly as I had left it.
Sooo...my hormones are a total mess (I'll leave out the gory details for our sensitive male readers) and I have apparently gotten into this funk where I spend most of my time looking at everything that needs to be done in the next 9 1/2 weeks and I can't figure out where to start.
I was really struggling on Monday and in a moment of desperation called Barb. We talked about our schedules and she offered to come over on Wednesday (tonight) and help me do anything I wanted help with. Apparently what she meant by help was for she and Jordan to come over and clean my kitchen while I sat on my butt and told them where to put things. As all of you are aware, that is a tough thing for me to do. But I did, for the most part.
I'm supposed to make a list of the things I need to get done and then she'll come over every few days and help me get it all done. It is so hard for me to admit that I can't get it all done by myself, when I'm so used to being able to, and having the energy to spare to go over and help my friends get their stuff done too. I know I really have to slow down and get enough rest for Fox and I, but instead of slowing down everything seems to be speeding up. Kinda like that silly quote about life seeming to get faster toward the end, like the end of the roll of toilet paper, except this is life getting faster at the end of my pregnancy.
I'll have to finish this later...and I'll post pictures of Dylan from this weekend.
I've been feeling a little (hah!) overwhelmed this week. When I went out of town last weekend, I left the kitchen a disaster, and stuff all over Fox's room. Guess what? When I came back, it was all exactly as I had left it.
Sooo...my hormones are a total mess (I'll leave out the gory details for our sensitive male readers) and I have apparently gotten into this funk where I spend most of my time looking at everything that needs to be done in the next 9 1/2 weeks and I can't figure out where to start.
I was really struggling on Monday and in a moment of desperation called Barb. We talked about our schedules and she offered to come over on Wednesday (tonight) and help me do anything I wanted help with. Apparently what she meant by help was for she and Jordan to come over and clean my kitchen while I sat on my butt and told them where to put things. As all of you are aware, that is a tough thing for me to do. But I did, for the most part.
I'm supposed to make a list of the things I need to get done and then she'll come over every few days and help me get it all done. It is so hard for me to admit that I can't get it all done by myself, when I'm so used to being able to, and having the energy to spare to go over and help my friends get their stuff done too. I know I really have to slow down and get enough rest for Fox and I, but instead of slowing down everything seems to be speeding up. Kinda like that silly quote about life seeming to get faster toward the end, like the end of the roll of toilet paper, except this is life getting faster at the end of my pregnancy.
I'll have to finish this later...and I'll post pictures of Dylan from this weekend.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Titles are so cliche'
We had a great checkup with the midwife this morning. Fox has decided that head-down is his direction of choice. Honestly, it kinda took me by surprise. I guess I thought I had another month or so before we got to that point. I know, it's a positive move, but yet another example of how time is just flying by!
Vance wrote a great post on his blog last night regarding the saga of naming our son. Check it out here.
I read a really thought-provoking post on a website this morning. Warning-the language is not rated PG. However, I felt the author made some excellent points. It made me thankful for my community of friends, and all the more cognizant of our need to be a friend.
The Hypnobirthing self-training we're doing is going well. I do get a little tired of some 'well-meaning' folks who look at me like I'm so naive when I talk about planning to give birth without pain medications or medical interventions. I don't want to make this blog a gripe page about pregnancy issues, but sometimes that's really what's on my mind.
I had my annual review at work this morning. It went very well, I earned an "Excellent" rating in all areas assessed. Now I just have to get my leave plan worked out. I'm planning on taking the full 6 months FSU will allow me. We'll see what happens after that. ; )
Vance wrote a great post on his blog last night regarding the saga of naming our son. Check it out here.
I read a really thought-provoking post on a website this morning. Warning-the language is not rated PG. However, I felt the author made some excellent points. It made me thankful for my community of friends, and all the more cognizant of our need to be a friend.
The Hypnobirthing self-training we're doing is going well. I do get a little tired of some 'well-meaning' folks who look at me like I'm so naive when I talk about planning to give birth without pain medications or medical interventions. I don't want to make this blog a gripe page about pregnancy issues, but sometimes that's really what's on my mind.
I had my annual review at work this morning. It went very well, I earned an "Excellent" rating in all areas assessed. Now I just have to get my leave plan worked out. I'm planning on taking the full 6 months FSU will allow me. We'll see what happens after that. ; )
Friday, July 28, 2006
NPR's Storycorps
I am a self-confessed NPR junkie. Some people find that interesting, given my conservative beliefs and Republican affiliation. True, many stories/commentaries are challenging, but I feel that by learning about other views, it strengthens my own. They have an amazing series called Storycorps that has really opened my eyes to so many other things happening that don't make the headlines.
This morning as I was in the bathroom putting lotion on my belly and the rest of me (I really hope to avoid major stretch marks!) NPR's storycorps ran their story of the week. I urge you to listen to it here, then continue reading. I was struck by the amazing gift that the family gave to help others, when their child was the one that needed help. I stood there, tears falling down my belly, on the life growing in me, wondering if Vance and I were ever put in that position if we would be able to do the same. I pray that we'll never have to make that choice. It makes the sacrifice on the cross even more real. Giving your only Son. Thank you, Lord.
This morning as I was in the bathroom putting lotion on my belly and the rest of me (I really hope to avoid major stretch marks!) NPR's storycorps ran their story of the week. I urge you to listen to it here, then continue reading. I was struck by the amazing gift that the family gave to help others, when their child was the one that needed help. I stood there, tears falling down my belly, on the life growing in me, wondering if Vance and I were ever put in that position if we would be able to do the same. I pray that we'll never have to make that choice. It makes the sacrifice on the cross even more real. Giving your only Son. Thank you, Lord.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Third Trimester...time is ticking...and we have a name!
It's hard to believe I'm in my third trimester already. I can remember very vividly the morning I woke up and tiptoed into the bathroom to 'pee on the stick', as I so delicately referred to taking the pregnancy test.
I've come full circle back to some of my favorite first-trimester hobbies, such as napping on the couch every day after work and heading to the bathroom every 2 hours. Unfortunately, the napping and peeing are cramping my time available to get all of the stuff done that I want to in the house before the baby comes.
That list includes:
So, about the last part of the post title. We have selected a name for our son. Most of our friends here in Tallahassee know it, and love it! Most of our family members think we've really lost it this time. It's not a 'normal' name, we know that. We also know the strength of my mother's reaction, and that we're not telling any family members the name of Baby #2 when he or she is coming.
Anyway, without further ado, unless we come up with something we like better (highly unlikely)...
We're naming our son
Fox Carson Rutherford.
The end.
I've come full circle back to some of my favorite first-trimester hobbies, such as napping on the couch every day after work and heading to the bathroom every 2 hours. Unfortunately, the napping and peeing are cramping my time available to get all of the stuff done that I want to in the house before the baby comes.
That list includes:
- Culling through all of the stuff in the guest room closet so we can actually fit baby stuff in there.
- Selling the roll-top desk to make room for my computer desk to move out into the front room area.
- Organizing/getting rid of the ridiculous amount of paper I have filed/piled in various locations around the house.
- Hanging up the window shades that I had to go out and buy last night for the baby's room and our room.
So, about the last part of the post title. We have selected a name for our son. Most of our friends here in Tallahassee know it, and love it! Most of our family members think we've really lost it this time. It's not a 'normal' name, we know that. We also know the strength of my mother's reaction, and that we're not telling any family members the name of Baby #2 when he or she is coming.
Anyway, without further ado, unless we come up with something we like better (highly unlikely)...
We're naming our son
Fox Carson Rutherford.
The end.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Growing...and what NOT to say to a pregnant woman
I took a 3 hour nap this afternoon. Sandra thinks the baby is having a growth spurt. I hope so, 'cause my appetite is back!
As I've observed my numerous pregnant friends over the past oh, 6 or so years, I always heard about the horrible/stupid things that people say to pregnant women. As I am now obviously 'with child', it has become my turn to be on the receiving end of some of these bone-headed comments. Here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order. I will try to include the person that these were made to, if I can recall:
As I've observed my numerous pregnant friends over the past oh, 6 or so years, I always heard about the horrible/stupid things that people say to pregnant women. As I am now obviously 'with child', it has become my turn to be on the receiving end of some of these bone-headed comments. Here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order. I will try to include the person that these were made to, if I can recall:
- She must be jealous that your belly is bigger than hers! (To me, this morning AT CHURCH, standing next to a woman due two months before me)
- Are you sure it's not twins? Maybe they should check again. (I think everyone has had that one)
- You're getting so huge! (Again, everyone gets this one)
- Well, you look pregnant! (To me, from a woman I haven't seen in a while. Good thing I'm not just putting on weight for no reason!)
- October? As big as you are, I thought you'd be doe a lot sooner! (To me - I swear I am not making these up!)
- Oh, you shouldn't eat that candy bar-it's bad for the baby! ( To Joanna, in her first of four pregnancies, from a random woman in the grocery store)
- Girl, you ain't had that baby yet? (To Carey, from one of her nursing home patients. People, please don't ever say this. Obviously, if the woman is still at work and got 'the belly', the baby IS NOT HERE YET!)
- I don't know if you can get much bigger...(I think this was to Darcy...from someone who worked at the hospital with her?)
- Wow, you guys didn't plan this very well...you're going to be huge all summer! (To Vance and I, when people find out the baby is coming in October. We planned just fine, we just didn't know we'd be so good at getting pregnant right away!)
I'm sure there are plenty I've left out, so ladies, please post them in the comments.
To th rest of you, please turn on your brain when speaking to a pregnant woman. She is carrying a life in her, and more hormones than you EVER want to mess with.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Sorting Change and such...
The other night after our garage sale, I had emptied our piggy bank and was very focused on making my piles of quarters, dimes, nickels, pennies, and 'other stuff'. Vance asked me if I wanted to use his handy-dandy coin sorter that would automatically sort all the coins and then deposit them into the wrappers. I just kind of looked at him, and realized he didn't get it. He didn't know that every summer growing up Shannon and I would spend the first night of our annual trip to Granny and Pa-pa's sprawled across the living room floor, sorting the huge jars of coins that Granny and Pa-pa had accumulated throughout the year. That money was split between the two of us, and we got to spend it when we got to Granny and Pa-pa's place at Myrtle Beach the next day. We played skee-ball, air hockey, and more arcade games than we knew what to do with. More importantly, the sorting that first night soothed our frazzled traveling nerves, and gave us time to catch up with Granny and Pa-pa.
For a little while after Pa-pa died, Granny talked about selling the beach house. I was so torn. I understood the practicality of her idea, that it was really hard to keep up with the property with Pa-pa gone, and the annual fees rising to stay in the area, but so much of my childhood was tied to that little trailer with its porch and golf cart, that I couldn't talk about it without getting upset.
I talked to my cousin the other night for awhile. He and his wife and kids spent the week at the beach with Granny, my aunt and uncle, and another cousin and family. He said he had a new appreciation for what our folks went through to get us all there when we were kids. I hope that Granny hangs on to the beach house so we can take our kids up there every year. The next generation needs those memories too.
Back to the coins...I shared my story with Shannon, and she laughed. Apparently earlier that same week she was sorting and rolling coins when Momma and Daddy came over to see the Dylan monkey. Daddy questioned her about 'wasting time sorting' when she could just take the jar down to one of those Coinstar machines. His comment surprised her on one hand, and not so much on the other. She was surprised our frugal Daddy would waste ~ 8.9 cents on the dollar for convenience's sake, and not surprised that, like Vance, he didn't get it.
So my sister and I will continue sorting our coins, wasting our time, and relishing in the familiarity of our routine that we hope to pass along to our children, should they be so blessed to get to spend a week at the beach at Granny's.
For a little while after Pa-pa died, Granny talked about selling the beach house. I was so torn. I understood the practicality of her idea, that it was really hard to keep up with the property with Pa-pa gone, and the annual fees rising to stay in the area, but so much of my childhood was tied to that little trailer with its porch and golf cart, that I couldn't talk about it without getting upset.
I talked to my cousin the other night for awhile. He and his wife and kids spent the week at the beach with Granny, my aunt and uncle, and another cousin and family. He said he had a new appreciation for what our folks went through to get us all there when we were kids. I hope that Granny hangs on to the beach house so we can take our kids up there every year. The next generation needs those memories too.
Back to the coins...I shared my story with Shannon, and she laughed. Apparently earlier that same week she was sorting and rolling coins when Momma and Daddy came over to see the Dylan monkey. Daddy questioned her about 'wasting time sorting' when she could just take the jar down to one of those Coinstar machines. His comment surprised her on one hand, and not so much on the other. She was surprised our frugal Daddy would waste ~ 8.9 cents on the dollar for convenience's sake, and not surprised that, like Vance, he didn't get it.
So my sister and I will continue sorting our coins, wasting our time, and relishing in the familiarity of our routine that we hope to pass along to our children, should they be so blessed to get to spend a week at the beach at Granny's.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Lest I forget...
I also meant to add that it was very entertaining on the way home last night to watch the car full of pre-teen girls waving and taking pictures of my sweet husband. I'm sure it was becuase he's so cute, and not at all related to his cool car. ; )
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
36 for 32...
Vance's 32nd birthday was yesterday. We hosted the Monday Night crew at our house. All 36 of them. We counted. There were 22 adults and 14 children ranging from the infants to an 8 year old. Quite a night. Anna and Rob brought over a Coldstone cake to help celebrate, since Anna's birthday was Sunday. It was so yummy! Darcy brought a wonderful sirloin roast, and I'm so thankful she did, because my big pan of Irish Macaroni wouldn't have been enough for the crowd!
Vance and I began registering at Target tonight. My mom has been bugging me about it, since our first shower is in 6 weeks. Apparently there are people who buy shower gifts more than 3 days before the actual event. I don't know any of those people, and I'm not one of them! Oh well. Of course, Target is planning on completely re-vamping their entire baby section between July 23rd-August 1st, so we just put the basics on there, the stuff that they always carry. We'll go back after the 1st and add the stuff like sheets and towels and onesies and all that.
We went couch shopping too. Allyson called and said they were going to pick up the guest bed tomorrow night. So now we really have to bite the bullet and get a sleeper sofa to accomodate the grandparents. Vance was not pleased with the prices of the ones we looked at, but we'll see what we can find. The salesman we talked to actually is a regular attender of our church, so we feel pretty comfortable dealing with him.
When we got home I cooked dinner and Vance installed the keyless entry on the Element. I'm looking forward to using it tomorrow, especially since it's supposed to rain in the afternoon.
My bestest friend called while we were watching Dr. Who, so we took a break. Minor wedding planning issues. Nothing big, just the church her sweetheart grew up in double-booking their wedding date and then sending her an email informing her of the conflict, and could she please make other arrangements? Yeah, I know. I think they should be able to work it out, since the church is the one that screwed up and she booked the date back in APRIL. I'm hoping that the church realizes the error was on their part and they do the honorable thing. Otherwise I might have to call, and we don't want that. Not with these hormones. (I'm expecting an Amen in the comments from Vance at some point)
Time for bed.
Peace out.
Vance and I began registering at Target tonight. My mom has been bugging me about it, since our first shower is in 6 weeks. Apparently there are people who buy shower gifts more than 3 days before the actual event. I don't know any of those people, and I'm not one of them! Oh well. Of course, Target is planning on completely re-vamping their entire baby section between July 23rd-August 1st, so we just put the basics on there, the stuff that they always carry. We'll go back after the 1st and add the stuff like sheets and towels and onesies and all that.
We went couch shopping too. Allyson called and said they were going to pick up the guest bed tomorrow night. So now we really have to bite the bullet and get a sleeper sofa to accomodate the grandparents. Vance was not pleased with the prices of the ones we looked at, but we'll see what we can find. The salesman we talked to actually is a regular attender of our church, so we feel pretty comfortable dealing with him.
When we got home I cooked dinner and Vance installed the keyless entry on the Element. I'm looking forward to using it tomorrow, especially since it's supposed to rain in the afternoon.
My bestest friend called while we were watching Dr. Who, so we took a break. Minor wedding planning issues. Nothing big, just the church her sweetheart grew up in double-booking their wedding date and then sending her an email informing her of the conflict, and could she please make other arrangements? Yeah, I know. I think they should be able to work it out, since the church is the one that screwed up and she booked the date back in APRIL. I'm hoping that the church realizes the error was on their part and they do the honorable thing. Otherwise I might have to call, and we don't want that. Not with these hormones. (I'm expecting an Amen in the comments from Vance at some point)
Time for bed.
Peace out.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
By request...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Random Thought...
Why is it that my hair decides to look good when I'm about to go to bed? It makes no sense.
Good Night.
Good Night.
Monday, July 03, 2006
4 day weekend!
I decided to take off today, and give myself a 4 day weekend. It's been a good thing! Vance's mom came in on Friday night and we enjoyed some chicken off of Vance's grill . He's coming along, we just have to be patient since charcoal takes longer than gas. Everyone kept asking me if we had big plans this weekend. We didn't, and have just been playing by ear. Kinda fun, to not be overly-scheduled! Saturday Pat and I ran around town doing not much of anything. She bought Tabitha (her other daughter-in-law) and I some cute pants at Old Navy. We had dinner with the Bennages at Chilis. It was quite fun, as Adah remembered Pat from when she was 'little'. Kind of funny to hear that out of a nearly-4 year old.
Shannon sent me a great bunch of pictures of Dylan. For Momma's birthday, she took a bunch of pictures of him with silly hats on at the Party Store. She framed them, and they are all over their house. Here's my favorite:
I know, I'm not biased at all, but this kid is too cute! I told Momma she was going to need more space to display pictures when our little guy comes along.
Well, my Blueberry Cobbler just came out of the oven so we're heading over to Monday Night.
Hope you enjoyed my foray into adding links to a post.
Shannon sent me a great bunch of pictures of Dylan. For Momma's birthday, she took a bunch of pictures of him with silly hats on at the Party Store. She framed them, and they are all over their house. Here's my favorite:
I know, I'm not biased at all, but this kid is too cute! I told Momma she was going to need more space to display pictures when our little guy comes along.
Well, my Blueberry Cobbler just came out of the oven so we're heading over to Monday Night.
Hope you enjoyed my foray into adding links to a post.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
We have kicking!
So, last night Vance felt the little monkey kicking! It was rather exciting for both of us. I'd been noticing a increase in the frequency and strength of his kicks this week, but last night while I was watching "So You Think You Can Dance" he was going overtime, and really strong! When Vance got home from running rehearsal at church, I told him that this may be the night.
Anyway, enjoy the pictures from last night's post. Heading to the reunion tomorrow afternoon!
Anyway, enjoy the pictures from last night's post. Heading to the reunion tomorrow afternoon!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Silly Us
I found some goofy pictures of us...when we were young and silly...oh wait, we still are! I think one of us was going on a trip without the other, so we tried to fit in a suitcase to come along. Then the other one of us wondered if we too would fit in the suitcase. I know, we're dorks.
I can't believe the girls are almost 4. This is from Spencer and Carey's old house, wayyyyy back in the day!
I used to be a DJ at a local country station. Here's a pic taken by some guy I can't remember...before Vance, so it doesn't matter. ; )
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Baby's got the blues...
Big surprise...Vance's son is apparently a blues fan.
Last night we were flipping channels shortly before bedtime, and Vance's keen skills of observation stumbled upon Georgia Public Broadcasting's airing of Eric Clapton's Crossroads Guitar Festival. Mind you, it is nearly bedtime for preggo me, but Vance is adamant that I at least watch for a few minutes.
We settle in on the couch and this kid gets to groovin'. Not kidding, he was serious having a workout in my belly. And when the music stopped and the talky people came on to beg for $$, he quit his dance routine. Music starts, baby starts. For over an hour.
He was particularly fond of Joe Walsh's "Funk #49". I told Vance about all the action, and he beamed as he said 'That's my boy!'.
How young can they start playing? We're thinking a drummer would make a good addition to the family band.
Last night we were flipping channels shortly before bedtime, and Vance's keen skills of observation stumbled upon Georgia Public Broadcasting's airing of Eric Clapton's Crossroads Guitar Festival. Mind you, it is nearly bedtime for preggo me, but Vance is adamant that I at least watch for a few minutes.
We settle in on the couch and this kid gets to groovin'. Not kidding, he was serious having a workout in my belly. And when the music stopped and the talky people came on to beg for $$, he quit his dance routine. Music starts, baby starts. For over an hour.
He was particularly fond of Joe Walsh's "Funk #49". I told Vance about all the action, and he beamed as he said 'That's my boy!'.
How young can they start playing? We're thinking a drummer would make a good addition to the family band.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Pictures and stuff
This is the photo I submitted to my class reunion website. It's from Michael and Rebecca's wedding 2 years ago.
Oh, and I need to post some of the ultrasound pics of our baby boy!
Let's try that here...
Anyway, had my first serious case of heartburn Saturday night/Sunday morning.
I really thought I was dying, y'all!
Apparently it wasn't the only episode I would have, since I lost my dinner last night too.
Good thing we have an appointment with the midwife Friday morning. Got some stuff to talk about!
Monday, May 29, 2006
Better News...
Thanks for your prayers and concerns from my last post. Robbin is hanging in there, not sure when she'll be back at work.
We had our big ultrasound appointment Friday morning. I couldn't post anything here for fear that my family would see it before we got to Orlando. ;)
So, the wait is over, and the news is as we expected...It's a boy!
I can't get the pictures to resize, so I'll get Vance to fix them and then I'll post a few.
I've also been feeling him move a lot this weekend. It's weird, and neat, and reassuring. I hear later it gets bothersome, but right now I'm not complaining!
We had our big ultrasound appointment Friday morning. I couldn't post anything here for fear that my family would see it before we got to Orlando. ;)
So, the wait is over, and the news is as we expected...It's a boy!
I can't get the pictures to resize, so I'll get Vance to fix them and then I'll post a few.
I've also been feeling him move a lot this weekend. It's weird, and neat, and reassuring. I hear later it gets bothersome, but right now I'm not complaining!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
What a way to start the day...
This is not going to be a fun post.
As I was walking in to work this morning from the parking lot, one of my co-workers filled me in on what happened yesterday to one of our other co-workers. I see Robbin nearly every morning now that we've gotten into Orientation. She was (it's hard to type was) just about two weeks behind me in her pregnancy. We briefly chatted yesterday morning, about nothing of real significance. Anyway, apparently after our session first thing, she went back to the office and wasn't feeling very well. She started cramping and all that, and her boyfriend came up to take her to the hospital. Unfortunately, she lost the baby. Everyone at work was trying to figure out who was going to tell me, and no one actually did. I guess it's better that I just found out, since I can't majorly freak out here at work. I'm kinda numb at this point. Everyone is asking me if I'm okay. I guess I am, but you can't help but be a little scared. When you hit the 2nd trimester, you're supposed to be 'safe'. Robbin and I had gotten to that point, the point where you can relax a little more, not have all the first trimester worries.
My heart hurts for Robbin and her family, and I'm trying to be rational about my own situation. Our ultrasound is scheduled for Friday morning, and I've been thinking about how great it will be to get a good look at this amazing thing happening in my body. We're hoping the little Rutherford will cooperate and let us in on his or her gender, and now all I can think about is just seeing the heartbeat again.
My heart hurts. We love you, Robbin. And your sweet baby that will greet you in heaven.
As I was walking in to work this morning from the parking lot, one of my co-workers filled me in on what happened yesterday to one of our other co-workers. I see Robbin nearly every morning now that we've gotten into Orientation. She was (it's hard to type was) just about two weeks behind me in her pregnancy. We briefly chatted yesterday morning, about nothing of real significance. Anyway, apparently after our session first thing, she went back to the office and wasn't feeling very well. She started cramping and all that, and her boyfriend came up to take her to the hospital. Unfortunately, she lost the baby. Everyone at work was trying to figure out who was going to tell me, and no one actually did. I guess it's better that I just found out, since I can't majorly freak out here at work. I'm kinda numb at this point. Everyone is asking me if I'm okay. I guess I am, but you can't help but be a little scared. When you hit the 2nd trimester, you're supposed to be 'safe'. Robbin and I had gotten to that point, the point where you can relax a little more, not have all the first trimester worries.
My heart hurts for Robbin and her family, and I'm trying to be rational about my own situation. Our ultrasound is scheduled for Friday morning, and I've been thinking about how great it will be to get a good look at this amazing thing happening in my body. We're hoping the little Rutherford will cooperate and let us in on his or her gender, and now all I can think about is just seeing the heartbeat again.
My heart hurts. We love you, Robbin. And your sweet baby that will greet you in heaven.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Happy Easter, and welcome Nena?
So I get a call at 6:00 this morning...it's Darcy, and she says it's time to head to the hospital to have Nena. Oh, and Madeleine has all the symptoms of an ear infection, so instead of a lovely Easter with Madeleine visiting Canopy Roads (and me being in the Easter Drama), I'll be heading to Urgent Care at 9 with a sick 2 1/2 year old. I love how God is giving me a crash course in parenting! Madeleine is holding her ear, but there hasn't been too much crying yet. She's preoccupied with Elmo on the computer and the Cat in the Hat on the DVD. This whole market for kids stuff on the internet is really fascinating. I'm impressed with Madeline's ability to follow the directions on the Sesame Street workshop site. It's set up well, and is age-appropriate. Yes, I know, that's the teacher in me.
Anyway, this is the first morning I've gotten out of bed without food before and not gotten sick. Let's hear it for the second trimester!
Well, I'm going to grab some breakfast. I hope we can get in at Urgent Care quickly. Poor Madeleine...
Anyway, this is the first morning I've gotten out of bed without food before and not gotten sick. Let's hear it for the second trimester!
Well, I'm going to grab some breakfast. I hope we can get in at Urgent Care quickly. Poor Madeleine...
Sunday, April 02, 2006
11 weeks...
I'm in my 11th week of pregnancy now. I've journeyed over to the wonderful world of maternity pants, and I'm not looking back. The darn things are just so much more comfortable! Now if I can just get Vance to stop giggling at the tummy panels, we'll be in good shape.
We've been purging junk from the house. It's really cathartic, but some stuff is tough to get rid of. I'll put a few silly knick knacks on a table near the third trashbag we filled, and say to Vance, "I'm going to be over here dusting the mantel...if those (insert name of junk here) just so happen to fall in the trash while I'm not looking...oh well." It works for me. I know I need to get rid of this junk. It's just a lot easier when someone else does it for you.
My mom and sister came up Friday and Saturday and brought the little Dylan monkey with them. I'd post some pictures of the adorable kid, but I can't find the USB port on this machine, and Vance is at the Men's Bible Study. He should be home soon, but then we have to run to Wal-Mart. I had some meat pulled out for hosting Monday Night tomorrow, but on second glance, I didn't like the looks of it. Into the trash.
Back to the cute kiddo, I'll try to post them from work. He really is adorable. Even if he is my nephew. I don't think I'm that biased.
Momma bought me some new pants and shirts...three pairs of pants that actually fit! (or will shortly)
I think I hear Maggie pulling into the driveway...
See you soon, friends!
We've been purging junk from the house. It's really cathartic, but some stuff is tough to get rid of. I'll put a few silly knick knacks on a table near the third trashbag we filled, and say to Vance, "I'm going to be over here dusting the mantel...if those (insert name of junk here) just so happen to fall in the trash while I'm not looking...oh well." It works for me. I know I need to get rid of this junk. It's just a lot easier when someone else does it for you.
My mom and sister came up Friday and Saturday and brought the little Dylan monkey with them. I'd post some pictures of the adorable kid, but I can't find the USB port on this machine, and Vance is at the Men's Bible Study. He should be home soon, but then we have to run to Wal-Mart. I had some meat pulled out for hosting Monday Night tomorrow, but on second glance, I didn't like the looks of it. Into the trash.
Back to the cute kiddo, I'll try to post them from work. He really is adorable. Even if he is my nephew. I don't think I'm that biased.
Momma bought me some new pants and shirts...three pairs of pants that actually fit! (or will shortly)
I think I hear Maggie pulling into the driveway...
See you soon, friends!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Baby Bennage is here! Baby Rutherford is coming!?!
Sandra's pregnancy has ended, mine has just begun. We were blessed to be taking care of Adah last night when her baby brother arrived. It was quite a traumatic birth, you can read all about it at www.bennage.com. Christopher posted a bit and a picture. Ranen Zane Bennage looks a heck of a lot like his big sister. I pray that he will be a calmer child, for Sandra's sake. ; )
So addressing the second half of my first sentence. Yep, it's true. We've jumped on the bandwagon. It looks like there will be another Rutherford joining the world in mid-October. It's kind of sinking in, like now when I have to pee (again) and I think I have my first case of heartburn. Vance is so excited. He is so great with everyone else's kids, I can't wait to see what an awesome Dad he'll be.
It will probably feel even more real after Tuesday morning, when I have an ultrasound to check out the sesame seed.
So in the meantime, we appreciate prayers and well-wishes, and will post as things progress!
So addressing the second half of my first sentence. Yep, it's true. We've jumped on the bandwagon. It looks like there will be another Rutherford joining the world in mid-October. It's kind of sinking in, like now when I have to pee (again) and I think I have my first case of heartburn. Vance is so excited. He is so great with everyone else's kids, I can't wait to see what an awesome Dad he'll be.
It will probably feel even more real after Tuesday morning, when I have an ultrasound to check out the sesame seed.
So in the meantime, we appreciate prayers and well-wishes, and will post as things progress!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I built a website...
Using Macromedia's Dreamweaver 8. Kinda crazy, but I have an interview at 1:00 today for an awesome opportunity and part of it includes web design.
So click here to check it out.
So click here to check it out.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Trying not to think...
Do you ever have something on your mind, and you know that there's nothing you can do about it, but you can't stop thinking about it? I am so there right now.
I should be learning about building a webpage to wow the folks at my interview Tuesday. I've learned a good bit, but I need my Vance here to keep me on task.
I have the cutest nephew.
I think it's time for a nap.
I should be learning about building a webpage to wow the folks at my interview Tuesday. I've learned a good bit, but I need my Vance here to keep me on task.
I have the cutest nephew.
I think it's time for a nap.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My Bonnie lies over the ocean...
...except for when she flies in for 2 weeks and surprises me! OK, sure, I flew to Dallas and surprised her once, but she flew from CENTRAL ASIA. Yeah.
Apparently they've been planning this since October. Vance figured it out last week when Bon's Dad told him I absolutely HAD to make it to the barbeque at their house Saturday. Yeah, I freaked out all over the place, it was crazy. I haven't seen her in 2 years. Of course, she was here for other reasons, but after the week I'd had, that was the best thing that could have happened. Susie and Mel also came over for the afternoon. It was one of the best days I can remember.
I've started getting emails from friends from High School. Kinda crazy, thinking back that far. There are some people that I'm looking forward to seeing, and a few that I hope don't make it or email. $5 to the first person to guess who that might be!
I get to sing a way fun song at church this week. "Clothes", from Barlow Girl. We're talking about purity. I love the lyrics. Here they are:
Clothes aren't what they used to be
They don't seem to fit you and me anymore
Modesty is the door
Flaunting what we've got and more is in
Yeah it's in
They're saying
Don't ask why just wear what we say
You'll look like a model if you'll only obey
To get the attention, just do what we say
Pay so much for clothes so small
Was that shirt made for me or my doll?
Is this all I get?
I looked so hot but caught a cold
I was doing just what I was told
To fit in
We're saying let's ask why
Don't wear what they say
Don't want to be a model
They can't eat anyway
That kind of attention will fade with the day
Clothes that fit are fine
Won't show whats mine
Don't change my mind
I'll be fine
I'll edit my previous post to add some fun pictures of everyone's bellies.
Apparently they've been planning this since October. Vance figured it out last week when Bon's Dad told him I absolutely HAD to make it to the barbeque at their house Saturday. Yeah, I freaked out all over the place, it was crazy. I haven't seen her in 2 years. Of course, she was here for other reasons, but after the week I'd had, that was the best thing that could have happened. Susie and Mel also came over for the afternoon. It was one of the best days I can remember.
I've started getting emails from friends from High School. Kinda crazy, thinking back that far. There are some people that I'm looking forward to seeing, and a few that I hope don't make it or email. $5 to the first person to guess who that might be!
I get to sing a way fun song at church this week. "Clothes", from Barlow Girl. We're talking about purity. I love the lyrics. Here they are:
Clothes aren't what they used to be
They don't seem to fit you and me anymore
Modesty is the door
Flaunting what we've got and more is in
Yeah it's in
They're saying
Don't ask why just wear what we say
You'll look like a model if you'll only obey
To get the attention, just do what we say
Pay so much for clothes so small
Was that shirt made for me or my doll?
Is this all I get?
I looked so hot but caught a cold
I was doing just what I was told
To fit in
We're saying let's ask why
Don't wear what they say
Don't want to be a model
They can't eat anyway
That kind of attention will fade with the day
Clothes that fit are fine
Won't show whats mine
Don't change my mind
I'll be fine
I'll edit my previous post to add some fun pictures of everyone's bellies.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
10 year reunion coming up
Wow. I am approaching my 10 year High School reunion. Kinda freaky. I'm really looking forward to it. Vance didn't want to go to his, but unlike him, I liked most of the people I went to school with. And the guys planning it will do a great job. ; )
We're gearing up for the world's biggest baby shower. Well, maybe not the world's biggest, but the biggest one I've been involved with. 4 new babies to celebrate. I hope Baby Bennage holds out until we can shower Sandra and Christopher (and the Alleys, Mitchells and Walworths!)
Just to recap the due dates on the bellies seen here:
Carey : May 4th
Sandra : Feb. 17th
Darcy : April 13th
Julie : April 10th
Danielle : May 6th
Uncle Bubba passed away last week. I drove 12 1/2 hours to NC to be with the family for the funeral. My nephew is getting bigger and cuter all the time. It was a neat experience, to have him sleeping on me so Shannon could sleep longer. She's doing a great job with this whole Mom thing. I hope it comes as naturally to me.
Here I am at Granny's house.
Some of the girls went to see 'Pride and Prejudice' at the dollar theater tonight. What a love story! Sandra warns me that I may be a bit more mouthy after I read the book. At least I'll be more educated in my mouthy ways, right? I really enjoyed the show. When I finish the book, Sandra says we can watch the 5-hour A&E version. I can't wait!
I got rear-ended again. That means that I have been in some form of a car accident in every vehicle I have owned since the beautiful Blue Cougar I totalled. Kinda sucks!
It seems that I have some significant ligament damage in my neck this time. I'm going to try acupuncture to relieve the pain. I'll keep you posted on how I do with the needles!
At least I get a massage once a week for 3 months!
Oh, and I didn't get Sandra the magazine subscription. I wonder who did?
We're gearing up for the world's biggest baby shower. Well, maybe not the world's biggest, but the biggest one I've been involved with. 4 new babies to celebrate. I hope Baby Bennage holds out until we can shower Sandra and Christopher (and the Alleys, Mitchells and Walworths!)Just to recap the due dates on the bellies seen here:
Carey : May 4th
Sandra : Feb. 17th
Darcy : April 13th
Julie : April 10th
Danielle : May 6th
Uncle Bubba passed away last week. I drove 12 1/2 hours to NC to be with the family for the funeral. My nephew is getting bigger and cuter all the time. It was a neat experience, to have him sleeping on me so Shannon could sleep longer. She's doing a great job with this whole Mom thing. I hope it comes as naturally to me.
Here I am at Granny's house.
Some of the girls went to see 'Pride and Prejudice' at the dollar theater tonight. What a love story! Sandra warns me that I may be a bit more mouthy after I read the book. At least I'll be more educated in my mouthy ways, right? I really enjoyed the show. When I finish the book, Sandra says we can watch the 5-hour A&E version. I can't wait!
I got rear-ended again. That means that I have been in some form of a car accident in every vehicle I have owned since the beautiful Blue Cougar I totalled. Kinda sucks!
It seems that I have some significant ligament damage in my neck this time. I'm going to try acupuncture to relieve the pain. I'll keep you posted on how I do with the needles!
At least I get a massage once a week for 3 months!
Oh, and I didn't get Sandra the magazine subscription. I wonder who did?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
More Pictures and updates...
Maybe being an aunt will make me post more.Dylan is so cute. These aren't the best pictures of him, but I'm sure I'll get plenty more when we head down again on Friday.
This is Friday afternoon BEFORE they got Shannon into a private room. We heard some interesting conversations between the 'couple' that were preparing to take home their newborn. Needless to say, Momma headed to the nurses' station to give them a friendly reminder that there were other people in the room. Shortly after that one of Momma's friends that is a bigwig at the hospital showed up and assured us that a private room was coming soon. And of course, it was!
My dad is loving being a grandpa. He had the greatest smile Friday morning, holding his grandson. He was really excited, since having a boy meant that the guys would finally outnumber the girls in the family.
This is shortly after arriving at home with Dylan. I can't wait to see him again. Only 4 1/2 days to go!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Oh what a night...
Wow! Of course, I'm not biased, but this is one cute kid! Dylan Jay Hugill made his appearance into this world at 3:46 AM, weighing in a 8 lbs. 5 oz. He is 22 inches long, and has Shannon's nose and lips, and Jay's chin. He has a full head of light brown hair, and was really alert this morning.
Shannon and Jay were at the hospital at 5:00 am Thursday, like they were told to do, but the hospital didn't have a room for them until 1:30 PM! Shannon labored for about 14 hours, with stadol and then an epidural.Being a part of this expereience was the most amazing thing ever. I am so grateful that my sister let me share this with her and Jay.
Of course, I will post more details later. Just wanted to get these up!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Still Waiting...
So Shannon got to the hospital at 5 this morning...and she's still waiting for a room. I got up at 5:30 and got on the road at 6. Just got in to Orlando, hanging out with Momma and Daddy. We're just sitting around until a room opens up for Shannon, Jay, and (soon to be) Dylan. She's trying not to get annoyed about waiting...you know, 'cuz Clancy women are SOOO good at being patient.
My parents are laughing at me for having a blog. Oh well!
Keep y'all posted...see ya!
My parents are laughing at me for having a blog. Oh well!
Keep y'all posted...see ya!
Monday, December 12, 2005
Happy Anniversary!?!
I am a terrible blogger! I just realized I've only posted 15 times in a year. That comes out to once every 30.4 days.
Early resolution...post at least 2x/month in '06.
Hold me to it!
Early resolution...post at least 2x/month in '06.
Hold me to it!
It won't be long now...
This picture was taken on Monday the 5th...(that's my sister on the left, in case the HUGE belly wasn't enough)
Please please please let me get all of my stuff done so I'm not stressed over being with my family instead of at work!
Amen.
Oh, and I decided against submitting for the award. No time (go figure!)
Saturday, December 10, 2005
...updated...
ETA: Emily and her due date...
Hey, looky...a post from me!
Been a busy month. Too much happening at work, lots of people announcing pregnancies, and trying to get caught up enough to head down to Orlando and see my nephew being born.
In case you were wondering, here are the pregnant ladies and due dates...
My sister Shannon - due 12/22, inducing next Thursday (my anniversary!) the 15th. (Boy)
Sandra - February 17th (Boy)
Julie - April 10th (Boy)
Darcy - April 15th (Girl)
Carey - May 4th (Boy)
Danielle - May 6th (Boy)
Sam Kagy - May 8th (?)
Jen Charles - May ? (?)
Emily (from work) July 9th (?)
Mary - July 17th (?)
Crazy...
I just found out that someone is reading this stuff...that makes me smile.
(Thanks Danielle)
I baked like crazy today. I picked up one of the youth girls and we had some quality time. Vance and the boys were getting the wood floor installed in the Bennage's bedroom, so Sandra and Adah stayed over in the guest room last night. Poor girls, didn't sleep a wink. But Adah had a blast at the Nutcracker this morning. It was supposed to be an abbreviated 'Children's version', but it was still 1 1/2 hours long!
I'm trying to figure out if I have time this week to work on a packet to submit for an the Southeast Region New Advisor Award for the National Academic Advising Association. I have zero time to do it, but I'm really tempted to try. I think if I work late through Wednesday I can pull it off. I'm tempted. It's a great honor to be nominated (really!) 'cuz it's by your peers. I found out I was the only one at FSU to be nominated by two different people. So I kinda feel like I'd be letting them down if I didn't submit my stuff. The thing is, is that it's a lot of paperwork to get in order, and I have to write a 'personal statement' AND update my resume', which I haven't even looked at since I started this job 2 years ago. The packet has to arrive in Atlanta by Friday, and since I'm leaving town first thing Thursday, I'd have to express mail it Wednesday afternoon.
I really appreciate being appreciated at work. The folks I work with are really good at letting you know when you're doing a good job. I found out one of my students nominated me for the FSU Advising Award. I hear that packet is a piece of work too, but if I do this one, I'll be more than ready for the other, right?
I guess it's time to go.
Hey, looky...a post from me!
Been a busy month. Too much happening at work, lots of people announcing pregnancies, and trying to get caught up enough to head down to Orlando and see my nephew being born.
In case you were wondering, here are the pregnant ladies and due dates...
My sister Shannon - due 12/22, inducing next Thursday (my anniversary!) the 15th. (Boy)
Sandra - February 17th (Boy)
Julie - April 10th (Boy)
Darcy - April 15th (Girl)
Carey - May 4th (Boy)
Danielle - May 6th (Boy)
Sam Kagy - May 8th (?)
Jen Charles - May ? (?)
Emily (from work) July 9th (?)
Mary - July 17th (?)
Crazy...
I just found out that someone is reading this stuff...that makes me smile.
(Thanks Danielle)
I baked like crazy today. I picked up one of the youth girls and we had some quality time. Vance and the boys were getting the wood floor installed in the Bennage's bedroom, so Sandra and Adah stayed over in the guest room last night. Poor girls, didn't sleep a wink. But Adah had a blast at the Nutcracker this morning. It was supposed to be an abbreviated 'Children's version', but it was still 1 1/2 hours long!
I'm trying to figure out if I have time this week to work on a packet to submit for an the Southeast Region New Advisor Award for the National Academic Advising Association. I have zero time to do it, but I'm really tempted to try. I think if I work late through Wednesday I can pull it off. I'm tempted. It's a great honor to be nominated (really!) 'cuz it's by your peers. I found out I was the only one at FSU to be nominated by two different people. So I kinda feel like I'd be letting them down if I didn't submit my stuff. The thing is, is that it's a lot of paperwork to get in order, and I have to write a 'personal statement' AND update my resume', which I haven't even looked at since I started this job 2 years ago. The packet has to arrive in Atlanta by Friday, and since I'm leaving town first thing Thursday, I'd have to express mail it Wednesday afternoon.
I really appreciate being appreciated at work. The folks I work with are really good at letting you know when you're doing a good job. I found out one of my students nominated me for the FSU Advising Award. I hear that packet is a piece of work too, but if I do this one, I'll be more than ready for the other, right?
I guess it's time to go.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Customer Service Commandments
(Check them out!)
Word! Finally, the knowledge that there are people like me out there! (And I do mean out there!)
Ah, the annual commercialism monster rears its ugly head. (Trying...so hard...fighting urge to buy buy buy...)
Word! Finally, the knowledge that there are people like me out there! (And I do mean out there!)
Ah, the annual commercialism monster rears its ugly head. (Trying...so hard...fighting urge to buy buy buy...)
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
My Sister...
...is getting close to term...swollen feet, etc. But doesn't she look great?
I'm really excited about being an aunt. (That's pronounced 'ant', just so you know.)
We're heading to Orlando Friday and Saturday for a quick trip and to shower Shannon (and Dylan and Jay).
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.
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